Saturday, October 20, 2012

More Stupid Reviewer Comments

(I used to have a tortoiseshell cat. No matter what
her mood was, she always looked annoyed.)
To date, my most-viewed post of all time is the one called Stupid Reviewer Comments. Making fun of what other people write seems to strike a chord with a lot of folks; so I decided the 101st post was a perfect time to present another batch. 

I wish Anna would do herself and her fans the favor of taking off some of the pounds she has gained over the last several years.

I'm sure if Anna wants medical advice from you, she'll ask. 

The staging is cramped. The sets are stupid…Everybody is miscast and the acting is pure ham.
Don't sugar-coat it. What did you really think?

To see an opera in a PC is not enjoyable!
Did you ever consider buying a television?

The ADD File: The reviewer who just can't stay on topic:

From a review of Verdi’s Don Carlo:
Besides being an anti-Semitic homophobic megalomaniac who couldn't write good music, Wagner was a cad and an idiot.

From a review of La Boheme:
Carmen, however, when the 'Live from the Met' DVD comes out will be 1 i will be sure to buy. 

From a review of Donizetti's Roberto Devereux:
I recommend that you purchase her [Sills'] Puritani instead...But fair warning...if you don't like Bellini, you'll hate it.  However if you really want to hear Puritani sung even better, get the Callas 1953, or the Sutherland 1962...

This is also a nominee for the special Captain Obvious award. 
...if you don' t like Bellini, you'll hate [I Puritani]

Even I couldn't think up a smart-ass answer for these two:

The other performers are adequate, but most people will buy this for Gruberova so I will not talk about them. 

Subtitles are in the usual languages, plus one oriental one designated by (to me) an undeciferable [sic] sign.

And the award for Best Review Headline (so far) goes to

Don't consider too much my opinion
Consider yourself ignored!

Here is a slightly less-pissed-off-looking tortie that
I found while looking up how to spell tortoiseshel


  1. If I had a dollar for every time I heard some idiot on an Amazon review or elsewhere criticizing Netrebko for gaining weight . . . It's so silly. She sounds terrific.

    I wanted to think up a smart remark in response to the person who couldn't spell "indecipherable" but I couldn't either.

  2. She does sound terrific. While visual effect is indeed important in live (and filmed) opera, I wish people would lay off the weight thing. It's interesting that there are not nearly so many comments about male singers gaining or losing weight (except of course at Barihunks or Parterre Box).

    Keep thinking, I am sure you'll come up with some smart-alecky comeback to Mr. indecipherable!

  3. As someone who's constantly guilty of going off on tangents, I love the ADD File :-D I think sometime soon I'm going to deliberately write a post in that manner.

    1. You mean you haven't already? ;-)
      BTW Happy Blog Anniversary!!


Comments are very welcome! They won't be moderated; but rude, abusive, and/or radically off-topic posts will be removed.

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