Saturday, May 11, 2013

What I Learned from Posting Comments at Other Blogs

Many people seem to be more interested in bludgeoning others with their opinions and then personally attacking anyone who disagrees with them…

…than they are in an exchange of ideas, with the possibility of actually learning something, seeing another point of view, or even maybe making a new friend or two.

Yes, I guess I am the Pollyanna of the blog world. 

Of course, I am talking about a specific other blog, but I won't name it here, because then they might come over and beat me up on my home turf! 


What's funny/annoying/bewildering (choose all that apply) is that there's a faux-intellectual tone to these comments, and a faux-civility that barely hides the hostility these people have towards one another.

However, there's an almost equally intense discussion, with many opposing opinions going on at another blog. 
Parterre, flowers, box and statue, Oldway Mansion, Paignton; Image © Copyright Tom Jolliffe 
The  tone is still serious, and the comments are often more well-informed. But the interactions (usually) are not brought down to the level of personal attack, and many comments are tinged with a quirky and sometimes subtle sense of humor. And instead of picking at nits and typos and personalities, there is actual conversation going on. You can tell people are actually reading the full comments of others. People respond to ideas with ideas, not vitriol.

The big takeaway here is to know the tone of a blog before you start posting comments. Be prepared to have all of your words taken out of context. And if you know you are heading into a battle of humorless  snobbery and personal put-downs, and you still want to go, put on your armor. Or better yet, back away slowly. 

Meanwhile, I continue to feel very fortunate to have earwormopera and operaramblings as my blog parents, and other friendly, fun, intelligent, interactive, informative bloggers as my blog sisters and brothers. Ahhhh, it's good to be home.


  1. I wish to bludgeoning you with the opinion that I LIKE THIS POST!

    1. Thank you, other friendly, fun, intelligent, interactive, informative blogger!

  2. I wish to berate you and attack you ad hominem for being a decent human being and fun to engage with.

    I got mildly embroiled in a brouhaha chez Boulezian yesterday. After being accused of posting rubbish on a listserv I had never heard of by a certifiable loon I decided it was time to step away!

    1. Thanks Dad!

      ACD is extreme in the extreme, and I believe has posted anonymously on my blog in the past. It's interesting he posted a link for you to look at to see your comments on his list serve, but you can only get to it with a login.

      I mostly don't understand why people can't entertain an opposing opinion without resorting to name-calling, trash-talking and questioning one's intelligence, taste, and parentage.

  3. I will echo what Eyes and John said.

    LIke you, I don't understand why people would meet reasonable disagreement with name-calling or vitriol: there is something about internet interactions that seems to turn some people into third-graders. (Actually, that's an insult to third-graders, many of whom are quite civil.) The only time I've ever gotten into a flame war on the internet was when I misapprehended the nature of a particular comment system and said something I probably shouldn't have, resulting in a number of people telling me I was an idiot and an awful person. I felt terrible, and I didn't even intend to do it! I don't know why anyone would seek out that kind of stress by deliberately being rude or personally insulting.

    1. I know! If I want stress and unpleasantness, I can get that in real life; I just have to go to the grocery store or the bank.

      I think it must be insecurity on the part of some people. Instead of reading an opinion and thinking, "hmm maybe I should give that a try, or check it out, or reconsider," they just lash out.

      I would guess for you and me that our quirky sense of humor may get us into trouble once in a while. I find that many people misunderstand my snarkasm.

  4. As long as you aren't mean to me I'm good.


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